May I introduce my way of spiritual growth?
1)Stay conscious. Namely observe one’s own thoughts and feelings, especially negative emotions.
2)Psychoanalysis.
Stay alone, write or type.
First, let out emotions. Write down all the feelings, including killing people, no matter who is (s)he to you. Do whatever one wants in writing.
Second, inquire why deeper and deeper, or ask oneself why in a row. For example, once I heard a mother (a friend of mine) called her daughter a nickname which was a humiliation in my eyes, and her daughter called her mother back a nickname which was an insult. I was shocked. If it happens to me, I feel disconnection to my daughter and I wish we two never meet again. But they two were talking and laughing naturally. How do I feel? Why do I feel so? Why don’t the mother and the daughter feel belittled and angry? Why do I feel heart broken if I heard my daughter calls me this way? Because she doesn’t respect me. Why do I feel heart broken when she doesn’t respect me? … For example, finally I realized that the mother and the daughter both have a belief that they will never depart. And I never have this belief or this born-to-have belief was broken.
Third, examine the idea by The Work of Byron Katie.
Example: Everyone will leave me sooner or later including my daughter. My daughter will leave me one day.
- Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to question 3.)
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
- How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
- Who or what would you be without the thought?
- Turn around 1. My daughter won’t leave me. Is it true?
- Turn around 2. I will leave my daughter one day. Is it true?
- Turn around 3. I will leave myself one day. Is it true? (Not all the three turnarounds apply in every case.)
3)No criticism.
Practicing psychoanalysis, one could realize that I don’t like someone because in subconsciousness I don’t like myself in a particular aspect. So no complaints theoretically. But it’s easier said than done. It’s Ok that one blames in the light of consciousness. Because one can reflect on it later and apologize with sincerity.
4)Pinch the abdomen.
My TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) teachers told me that the knots in the abdomen are the roots for sickness. So I pinch the knots to remove them. Pinch a knot, say the middle area in the upper abdomen, to the extreme strength, counting breaths to 10. One may feel the knot shrinks a bit. Continue, counting another 10 breaths. Please grit the teeth literally, which I feel a bit right.
Acknowledgement
Spiritual teacher Tiffany Chang, Ju Lin. TCM teacher Daqing Yang.
If you’re interested, here is the Chinese version.